(and How to Experience Being a Donut!)
By Michele Risa, M.A.
As children, we were silly. We went from playing a game of monsters, to crying after scrapping our knee, to suddenly seeing a bird nearby that stops our crying and puts a smile on our face. We were silly, sad, curious and happy within minutes. Our days were filled with pure, rich experience.
This is a doorway to happiness. Do you have a minute for me to explain?
I’ll start by asking: what if you eliminated words like good and bad as descriptors of experience and simply labeled experiences as experiences? Meaning, you went through your day having experiences of kindness, sadness, laughter, disappointment, confusion, fear, confidence, criticism, compassion, etc. Sounds like a game, yes?
It sounds like a game to me. And I have taken life way more seriously than that.
But when I watch children, I see such happiness. So I asked myself, how might I introduce that into my day?
I started by asking questions:
- What would support me most right now?
- What would put a smile on my face?
- What decision would be a win-win?
I included simple and more difficult areas of my life.
- What did I want for dinner?
- How can my communication be more compassionate?
- Did I really have to be with this person?
- How can I be more authentic?
Though initially I couldn’t even tell you what made me happy, this practice of questioning gave me a clear picture of what feeling happy was for me.
And then being happier became infectious, spreading to all my interactions.
As my needs were satisfied by ‘yours truly,’ I no longer needed to wait for other people to satisfy them. Suddenly disappointments seemed to disappear!
Today, just as I take care of my health, I take responsibility for my emotional needs and heart. I am my love Doctor and practice Self Love.
If you, too, yearn to feel cared for and loved throughout your day, here are 4 suggestions.
- Live in your heart versus your head. So right now, love you. Full out love you. Give yourself what you need. Start with a hug. Or a kind thought. Acknowledge that you are doing the best you know how…because we all truly are. Cut yourself some slack. Then check in with your heart and see how you feel.
- “I attract that which I am.” We are magnetic energy and like attracts like. So if you don’t like what or who you are attracting, it’s crucial to get clear about who you are, the source. From practicing #1 above, you begin to see who you are and who you’re not. Unsure? Just ask more questions and try out different answers.
- Feel your feelings. Respect them. Live through your emotions, not over or around them. This especially applies to negative emotions because we become unstoppable and magical when we overcome challenges. (Which is why they occur, but that’s a topic for another time.) Ever notice that the same ones keep returning? Truth is, that will keep happening until you accept and experience them. And this is key to healing old wounds…key to moving beyond perceived limitations.
- Make believe. Literally make your beliefs. Of course, you already do. So if you want confirmation of what your beliefs are, just look around you. Because your beliefs determine your thoughts, feelings, words, actions…and literally your life. So if you want to change any aspect of your life, you must start with creating new beliefs…as well as a vision. It created magic as children and creates incredible magic as adults.
All four of these suggestions require more discussion and clarification. So if this peaks your interest and want to learn more, just email me MRisa@BeyondBodyMindSpirit.com.
In closing, I’d like to explain what “Experience Being a Donut” means. It refers to “torus” which is a geometric term for a circle revolving in a 3-dimensional space or a ring shape. Google it.
I read it in the context of how a child is at play with everything…exhibiting joy, freedom, and aliveness. Where nothing is impossible.
When was the last time you “Experienced being a donut?”
Can you imagine a world of donut-y people? If that brings a smile to your face, then please pass this on to your family and friends. Join us to create a more kind, caring world, one smile at a time.
BTW: Have questions or want more specific suggestions tailored to your needs? Just email me at MRisa@BeyondBodyMindSpirit.com. I’m happy to make the first step easier so you can be on your way.